Opp gjennom historien er det kvinner som har lidd under patriarkatet som har dominert i så å si alle verdensdeler og gitt menn økonomisk, sosial og kulturell forrang. Feminisme handler om å få et likestilt samfunn mellom kjønnene og det er fullt fokus på jenters og kvinners rettigheter. Kan vi realisere feminismens formål uten å ta hensyn til at deler av kvinnefrigjøringen går på bekostning av gutter og menn? Jeg tror ikke det.
Negativ sosial kontroll rammer både jenter og gutter
La meg gi dere et eksempel. I Norge er vold i nære relasjoner, som også innebærer negativ sosial kontroll, et stort problem. Særlig jenter med røtter fra det globale sør opplever å bli kontrollert, presset og truet til å innrette seg etter andres forventninger til oppførsel og levemåte. Norske myndigheter gjør en stor innsats for å forebygge, redusere og eliminere negativ sosial kontroll. På veien, har man fanget opp at også gutter utsettes for negativ sosial kontroll, dog på en annerledes måte. Gutter kan presses og tvinges til å utøve negativ sosial kontroll og æresrelatert vold. De presses og trues til å kontrollere kvinnelige familiemedlemmer, som for eksempel søstre og kusiner.
Gutter får ofte en ufrivillig rolle som en vokter for å sikre at kvinnelige familiemedlemmer oppfører seg moralsk riktig, så ikke dårlige rykter oppstår.
You can, for example, read more about this in the book For ærens saket by Unni Wikan.
This responsibility has become even more demanding for the boys to follow up over time, when girls in particular challenge their environments and families and make demands to have their rights intact. If you follow the public debate, you will have noticed that more girls are taking action against their environments that have limited them, which, among other things, relate to choosing a partner, contact with boys and with friends. This is a positive change and suggests that the education you get through participating in society and going to school can promote women’s liberation. It is fantastic.
At the same time, the boys are pushed even more into a corner; their task becomes more difficult to perform and thus they risk sanctions.
The patriarchal family structure
In addition, boys and men gain more power by virtue of their gender in a patriarchal family structure, which both Unni Wikan and Anja Bredal’s research shows about boys who are exposed to negative social control. Boys and men thus become dependent on having control over girls and women get to retain power. Being in control is also a symbol of masculinity. Not having control strips boys and men of power and masculinity. If the boys lose social capital in the form of recognition, position and networks and experiences, they can end up outside a community, which can trigger a crisis in the boys.
Through such upbringing, care and love are mixed with violence, pressure and threats. From my profession, I know that such socialization has an impact on how one enters into relationships later in life. It characterizes a relationship, a cohabitation and their upbringing of children. Bredal’s research shows precisely how control and love mix and characterize love relationships as a ripple effect of the patriarchal structure they are socialized into .
Boys themselves can face enormous loyalty conflicts, be exposed to extreme pressure and experience unmanageable cross-pressure. They are also socialized into a patriarchal family structure. We cannot therefore blame them and make them the scapegoat for the girls’ misfortune: they are as much victims as the girls. The problem is that society is doing just that; the girls’ fight for freedom has not only come at the expense of the boys. At the same time, it has drawn a negative image of the boys who do not take into account how they are socialized in a culture of oppression. The knock-on effect is that the girls can get worse, because the boys get worse.
Patriarchy is a system that oppresses women and that all societies have been or are still dominated by. Even in Norway, the legacy of patriarchy is alive and well.
As the well-known activist Nawal El Saadawi often reminded us, I too would like to remind you that the patriarchy oppresses men as much as women.
If we do not take it seriously, the work to promote, protect and realize the rights of girls and women will continue to be a tenuous process. It can also work against its purpose, as we see in the example of negative social control. This does not stand in opposition to promoting the equality of women. On the contrary, it can rather strengthen the work.
